Amelia Bedelia

Here’s a fantastic quote from a recent Drew Magary article¬†about children’s book; the entire article is worth a read, but this point in particular is spot on (at least from what I remember as a kid):

7. Do not buy any Amelia Bedelia books.
She’s awful. I hate her. She takes everything you say literally, so when her boss is like, “Make the bed,” she literally makes a little bed out of craft supplies. What a moron. Kids are too young and too stupid to understand the concept of figures of speech, so all the jokes go right over their heads. They’re the lucky ones. I actually understand these jokes, which only makes it worse. If this woman existed in the real world, she’d be arrested and sent to prison and then she’d die from swallowing bleach by accident and she would DESERVE it. Every time she gets fired in these books, I cheer. And when she gets rehired, I want to vote Republican. STOP BAILING OUT THESE PEOPLE.